I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
