Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
