OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
