I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you never un-have a 4some
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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