Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize