I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
