I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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