Whod you bang
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
