saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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