I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
