no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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