Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
