you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
