better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
