are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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