What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
