shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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