I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
