you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
