i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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