never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
