ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Drunk is not a location!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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