my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
