Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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