I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize