if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
