A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We named our party play list daddy issues
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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