I have demons in me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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