Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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