i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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