People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
