East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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