I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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