DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
