you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize