That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
