im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
