"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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