You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
