I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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