What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You need a sexual gate keeper
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
