question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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