bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I could fuck to npr.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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