I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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