Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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