Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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