omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
