As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
