this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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