your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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