you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She bit a glass in half.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize