Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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