mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
