My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so let's talk penis.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
