the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
then he tried to convert me to islam
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
