she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
