I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
