I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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