it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
