I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize