Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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