Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
