do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
