She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
