D3 body, D1 cock
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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