i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
