You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize